Thursday, December 16, 2010

On Having One's Picture Taken

Does anyone like being photographed? I'm not talking about a casual photograph, but having one's portrait done, which always ends up being more work than you expect. Sometimes it's worse than work. Many years ago, a photographer required me to hold an expression for minutes at a time. He dusted my face with powder until my skin was three shades too light. I could feel my expression hardening, while he made remarks about the size of my nose and who knows what else. Then, as the session wound down, he walked up to me, looked me in my eye, expecting me to what? Punch him? Kiss him? The incident seems almost funny and completely absurd from this distance, but it was a good example of how strange things can get when power makes a seemingly casual, passing relationship go messy.

So it was a huge relief to know that I was going to be photographed by my friend Star Black. She'd taken my picture before--not a portrait, but casually, and I'd loved her portraits of Mark, Louise Gluck, and others. I went to her apartment. She made me coffee, strong coffee. I stood by the window, she held up her camera, and soon we weren't exactly in clock time anymore--no other way to put it. I thought we'd be done in--a half hour? Forty five minutes? Over two hours later the two of us were sitting before her laptop, pressing the delete key over and over, until our eyes were stitchy and we were a little sick with our looking. I learned this: a good portrait is not just a collaboration between photographer and subject, but also a collaboration between light, posture, and thought, all of which are never still. It takes a lot of work to make it look easy--300 tries in this case--and then you come across a shot and you think, ah, so there it is. The life in motion, but fixed at the same time.

Anyway, this was taken for Unbuilt Projects, but it's likely going to go on The Burning House too.

17 comments:

Nancy Devine said...

i like it---imploring but not forceful, honest but not awkward. (sounds a bit like i'm describing a wine)

Paul Lisicky said...

Hah! Thanks, Nancy.

C. Dale said...

Love it. Nothing else to say.

Paul Lisicky said...

Thank you, C. Dale!

Zavtrak said...

I love how your eyes are captured in this photo--perfectly aged with wisdom but still youthful and curious.

Paul Lisicky said...

Thanks so much, Jesse. Happy holidays to you.

susanstinson said...

It's true about your eyes and the all of the life in them. You seem really present in this photograph. It's wonderful.

Paul Lisicky said...

Thank you, dear Susan. xx

sophie said...

Funny, it's always the casual pictures that trouble me, those candids of parties or whatnot that people seems so fond of. I guess it's my control freak itching to have some sway in the matter of what's going to be in the frame... the idea of what is & isn't contained in the frame of course being one of those central ideas I always come back to surrounding writing, etc. No escaping it!

Your picture is so so lovely! Seems like Star has a sensitive eye.

Paulette said...

Gorgeous. I love it because it looks exactly like who you are inside and out. Can't wait for the book(s)!

Paul Lisicky said...

Thanks so much, Sophie. That means a lot to me. I know just what you mean, especially in Facebook-land, where pictures are often posted and tagged w/out much consideration of the subject.

Paul Lisicky said...

P.S. Not to mention that untagging feels vain and ungrateful.

Paul Lisicky said...

Paulette, that is so dear. Thank you very much. xo

galincal said...

I love the natural light. Now I want to offer you some tea, instead of vodka.

Paul Lisicky said...

Thanks, Gwynne. That's reassuring. The tea. A friend of mine said that I looked like a Russian chess player, which made me wonder, what am I giving off these days?

Elizabeth Hilts said...

"I learned this: a good portrait is not just a collaboration between photographer and subject, but also a collaboration between light, posture, and thought, all of which are never still."
Perhaps this is why I never like casual photos of me—no thought goes into the collaboration.
Perhaps this also explains why Neil said to me, once, "I can't take your photo, I know you too well."

Paul Lisicky said...

Elizabeth, A profound statement from Neil--and from you too. The big grin seems to serve the casual photo best, but the big grin does not work for the portrait. And when the subject of the casual photo is caught in between things (mouth half open)... Well, I know just what you mean.